成长中的一点体会

小时候，
常常会对人有特别的感觉…
我不知道那是不是叫喜欢，
但那感觉会让我的生活充满动力…

长大了，
学习着独立的我，
反而对周围的人、事、物
没有当初的感觉…
为什么呢？
这是成长的象征吧~

看着别人的部落格都充满了爱
看着朋友们开始谈恋爱
反而觉得单身特别好…
自由，自由，自由！(无聊~)
也可能身边一向都没有苍蝇或蜜蜂的关系吧~

我最爱我自己了！
也蛮爱我偶像的~ :P

PS: 胡言乱语一番…^^'''

shall i go australia for travelling?

erm... Im not a good student for this sem... Love to skip classes in order to go home... Not for dating or shopping... Im not actually very homesick but i think i need to relax myself...

I can do whatever i like at home... N talk whatever i like... I cant do those things in penang... Its true that if someone is more talkative in yr group, you wont have the chance or mood to talk... So, i seem to be the most quiet ppl in class...

Hence, i prefer to be alone... I can talk to myself n go wherever i want... I know i shouldnt do that n i should be more friendly in college... 在家靠父母，出外靠朋友 ma... But is it really work for me?

Went out with frens for movie on saturday... It was just so so... Enjoy being with them... Feel warm...

Went back hua lian on friday... Met few teachers... Thank god they still can recognise me n rmb my name... Chat with them for a while... Really miss secondary school life... Teachers are like parents or frens...

Talked bout my wish to go australia travelling with my family members after grandma's birthday dinner... They asked me to go with my 小舅母 n my 2 cute cousin brothers to melbourne... But they going there for 3 weeks leh... My parents sure broke... Still dunno whether i wanna go or not... Travel without my parents n sis... Feel a bit sorry... Considering n saving money... Say no to gurney!

Why? Why? Why?

Why it is so so so unfair?
Why there is so much different?
Why im always the one being forgotten?
Why i can just dream n couldnt make it realistic?
Why im a January baby?
Why i have to be alone most of the time?
Why nobody bother bout me?
Why i couldnt get branded stuff as present?
Why i dont get to celebrate my 18th?
Why im not special?
Why im so ugly?
Why im always the one who ask ppl out for gathering?
Why ppl dont miss me?
Why i dont have someone to listen to me?

Im very upset today...
The whole day im not in good mood at all....
i have no class at all....
lecturer was sick....
went gurney with friends...
tried a MNG black dress....
so nice~~
but im not allowed to buy any clothes...
bought a ROXY purse for my housemate as her bday present....(sharing with friends... )
honestly, im jealous... (*very)
went redbox to celebrate somor...
came back to hostel around 9 sth...
bathed n hand-washed my clothes... ( not special at all... my normal routine... )
called mummy...
asking her whether i should skip friday class or not...
coz tmr class until 2pm only...
n just 2 hours class tmr.... tired...
told her bout my housemate's bday celebration n present stuff....
just cried out suddenly....
it reminded me about my bday 1 month ago...
so much different...
i know i sound too childish in hoping for celebration so desperately...
cry also useless...... i still wont get anything....
whenever i meet such situation,
i'll think... what if i have a bf... surely it wont be like that....
dream...

i cant stop my tears now.... grr...
i hate myself for being so childish....
i hate myself for not being friendly....

how i celebrate my 18th....

Im officially 18 since 18th of January 2009.... ( what a sad case... im so old d.... )

Seriously, im so disappointed for this year's birthday... Just a cake from mummy n friends who are working in my shop at 12am.... ( i opened the cake by myself b4 that coz i tot it was my friend's one... :X)

3 presents were received.... one from aunty n 2 from friends....

20+ sms were received... mostly from my college friends.... i think my friends in taiping forgotten... T.T

1 call was received from my dear friend-- zhen ying.... quite surprise.... thanks!

I waited for my 18th for 18 years... I tot I will have a grand celebration or wat.... Mana tahu macam ini.... Like a crazy formula one racer, drove around taiping for the preparation before the dinner of my aunt's wedding....

If i have the chance to plan that day all by myself, i would like to go redbox.... alone or with friends isnt that important.... then, go for movie... have dinner at restaurant with live bands... that will be enough... haizz... but it is just a dream.... wont come true... coz 18/1/09 is ady over.... T.T

one of my best frens wished me belated birthday yesterday.... it was really late but still feel thankful that he didnt forget...

PS: im going to be 18 years n 1 month tmr... getting older..

Im back....

Hey! Im back! This time im not using hp... I brought my laptop n car to penang last week... I planned not to go back taiping so often as i have IELTS preparation class on saturday... So I brought my laptop in case i wanna find some information. How bout car? I'll be driving ONLY on saturday for class since the driver of my college isnt working during weekends.... sienz... have to save money for petrol.... :x

I dunno where to start now... too long not writing blog d... lazy~~

Ok, lets talk bout the party on the day b4 Chap Goh Meh....

It is a party organized by my mom... It is some sort like "xiu gang jiu" ( read it in hokkien )... All the workers are actually my friends n my cousin sister... Zhong yi, Serena, Yee Ling, Khai Ven , etc...

It was fun... most of my family members attended... We gambled n laughed together.... But sad to say, no photo is taken... sienz... cant keep as memory...

It was also the last time i get to meet up with Zhong Yi before he goes back to Sarawak on Valentine's Day.... :D

Next, will be outing with friends on thursday...

We went to Gurney ( again!!! ) for movie... The Curious Case of Benjamin Button... It was a nice movie with interesting plot.... I falled in love with Brad Pitt after watching the movie... He is so handsome.... :P Go n watch if u havent do so.... Thumbs up for this movie.... :D

After the movie session, went Kim Gary for dinner.... The food there just ok ok... Not going to recommend to you all.... Then bought a pin in maggie T n a pair of Mickey shoes.... Im turning to a shopaholic n I should stop this b4 it turns to a worse situation....

~~Friday~~
Alexis n Heng How stayed back... I was quite surprise when i heard about it... But i know im going to have an interesting weekend...

We went to pasar malam, which just located about 200m away from our hostel.... the pasar malam here is so much different with those in Taiping.... All the food here looks so delicious n it is hard to find flies over the food... Clean~

I had my first bowl of laksa that night.... Yummy...

I walked around with Lai Kee coz we couldnt find Alexis n Shuh Pyng most of the time.... hehe....

~Valentine's Day~
No celebration at all... Im just used to it.... 18th Valentine's Day in my life n i didnt celebrate it for 18 times... pity me lar wei.....

Went to college early in the morning... i drove there alone k... I left my hostel around 8.17am coz im afraid that i might stuck in traffic jam.... who knows.... The traffic is so smooth n i somor can drive in an average speed of 60 kph.... Hence, i reached college at 8.30am and waited for half an hour in the empty college.... Zzzz....

At night, we had a so call " single day celebration"... went to "pek hun sua" ( read in hokkien pls... coz i dunno whats the actual chinese word...) for dinner... The chicken chop there really delicious n quite cheap... come penang n find me... i''ll bring u there.... hehe... :D

I was damn full that day... had mcD as my lunch n chicken chop as dinner... growing fatter n fatter lar....

Ok... Here are some random pics i took.... sorry if it irritates u.... i know that im ugly... I start to love myself again these days.... :D

My eyes is almost the same with the panda... @@

Just a random pic...

Latest photo of mine....

PS: will try to update as frequent as possible....

2/2/09

*MONDAY*
I decided to go back taiping to bai tian gong, a praying ceremony for chinese on the 9th day of cny... After class, i followed boon yee's car to sunway carnival mall together with shuh pyng...

Shop around there... But there are so few stores for us to shop for hours... Around 6sth, both of them left the mall n left me alone wandering around sunway... Boring...

So i decided to go into esprit outlet again to try for a shirt... Tried the same design with different sizes n colours... Feel like buying but feel a bit guilty... Shouldnt start to buy clothes now... I havent finish wearing my new clothes also... Still cny wor... So i left the outlet n wandered around again to wait for my aunt...

When aunty arrived, i told her that i found out a quite nice shirt... So i went to try again asking for her opinion... She said she will pay for it as a present for me... Happy... ^^ thanks a lot...

After that, went to look for professional camera... Found a suitable model but out of stock... So aunt decided to leave as it was quite late that time...

She asked me to fetch her back to taiping as a training for me... Coz i'll be driving car to penang next week due to my ielts class on saturday... I was so nervous n stressed up... 1st time driving highway n somor at night...

Anyway, i drove quite ok lar... Somor dare to speed till 100kph... My maximum speed of driving... Can reach taiping within an hour... Not bad gua...

When i reached home, i rushed to bath n went to my maternal grandma's house... After that went to father-side grandma's house... Then rushed back home to pray.. Rushed back again to simpang... Whole night was like superman... I was exhausted... Slept at 4am n gonna wake up at 6.30am to follow shuh pyng's sis's fren's car to penang... Tiredness~99%


Monday look

To be continued later for tuesday story... Very interesting... Stay tuned... :)

my days...

have not been blogging for half a month... Feel a bit lost... Ok... Lets start from the 17th of jan... Coz i had forgotten wat i've done before that day... Im getting older... Haha..

*17/1/09*
The day before aunt's wedding... Met uncle kevin's parents, his best man, Jason, and uncle kevin in dad's shop... They were buying things for their maxwell hill 30 min trip.. I was being asked to fetch them after their trip... Sienz... Become driver again...

I was so busy that day... Drove around taiping, fetching my sis, my dog n uncle kevin... Bought a present for zhong yi... Couple key chain n a belt... Weird combination... :P

Dinner at grandma's house at night... All aunt's fren over there.. Saw joann there also... Her mom is my aunt's buddy...

I just simply finished my dinner there n stood inside the house for few hours... Boring... Then sang a few songs n drove back to shop before 12am...

*18/1/09*
Busiest day...

Had a simple birthday celebration in dad's shop with the workers, which are actually my friends...

Then, started to receive birthday wishes through sms... Mainly from my college frens... So, im actually quite disappointed...

Early in the morning, went grandma's house again.. ~Chinese tradition for wedding goes on~... Im too lazy to explain the whole thing... *Skip*

At night was the busiest part... I gonna fetch my grandma from simpang, my sis from saloon, take the red wine from dad's shop n dress up myself in around 1 n a half hour... I felt like i were a formula one racer... Sweat...

I'll skip the dinner part... Lazy again...

Im 18 finally...

Ps: i like the decoration of the hall... Looks so romantic... :)

*19/1/09*
Went to penang by aunt's car... Another aunt, not the one who get married i mentioned above... Missed my chem lecture for sure... Sorry mr ng... I felt that im so man that day.. I took ferry with my 'yi po' n took bus by myself to college... N, there isnt any bus straight to my college... I gonna switch bus n cross a busy road... It was so challenging to me as i was used to be very timid... Luckily i reached college safely... :)

*21/1/09*
Went to redbox with frens after class... Sang for 4 hours... The room was freezing cold that day... Couldnt sing properly as i was shivering most of the time...

After that we went to eat at gurney drive... No more char kuey teow available as we went there around 10... So ate wantan mee there... Ok ok nia... Had stomach-ache after eating coz i've been starving for almost 10+ hours before that...

*From 23th to 27th*
Working... Pitiful betul...

*28/1/09*
Went out bai nian with yshin, jess, ssean, jeff, bear, szhe, ray ong, ray tan, ckai, kok, yjun....

*30/1/09*
Had steamboat party at my house... Invited a lot of ppl but just 50% of ppl attended... But we still enjoy...

Eat quite a lot that day... N chat a lot with zhen ying... She was the punctual one... Others were late... Watch spoilt ke? Haha...

*1/2/09*
Dad's birthday... But didnt celebrate... Coz we celebrated on chu xi ye d...

Before i come back to penang, went for lunch with families... My god-mom treating us... Eat a lot again...

Ps: i eat a lot during cny... Fat until i cant recognise myself... Gonna undergo diet from wed... Tmr bai tian gong... Sure eat a lot also de... Hehe...